It would seem that the LAN on this particular MyNet N900 Central has some serious issues. When attempting to connect a cable between the router any any computer, it experiences nearly 50% packet loss from ping, most of them being “general failure” instead of “request timed out”.
EDIT: The problem has been resolved. A hub device had a loopback connection on two of its ports that was causing artifiical network traffic. Thanks to everyone who tried to help!